Self-Love is Self-Preservation

Self-Love is a real thing.

I was once told that before I loved someone else, I have to love myself. I spent my 20s grappling with undergrad, grad, and law school while trying to do just that. Yet, my strategy was deeply flawed. I found self-love only after someone loved me first. I guess the mentality was that if someone else loved me, then of course I love me too. So and so thinks I’m cute so then yeah, I think I’m cute too.

Ah. Twenty-Somethings.

Now the struggle is different. I’m a wife, mom, professional, and so much more. But I struggle like so many of my peers to remember to show love to myself and take care of myself….first! Self-Care is not selfish. It’s preservation. It’s survival.

So just because I have a husband, I am learning that I still have to love myself first, take care of myself first, and find happiness within — First!

There is no one outside of me who can bring me joy and happiness. They could add icing to my cake but they are not the cake, my dear.

This is the major lesson from my 2nd year of marriage. And it was a hard lesson. It took something monumental to happen to me (and only me) to understand this.

So now, this is my beautiful struggle. To continue to be the giver I am by nature and self-preservationist by necessity.

I love my husband, my kids, my job, my family, my church, my friends, my clients…everyone. But I am checking in with myself first because my life depends on it.

How can I ask someone to do something that I refuse to do for myself?

So now the goal is to do it for myself. Maybe they will be inspired.

Be an inspiration.

Be your own game changer.

Right your own wrongs. Sing your own songs. Beat your own drums. Set your tone. Rock your boat. Rock your world. Make yourself high. Shoot for your stars. Believe in yourself. Express yourself. Respect yourself. Love yourself. Want yourself. Need yourself. Please yourself. Excite yourself. Invite yourself. Calm yourself. Warm yourself. Desire yourself. Nurture yourself. Treat yourself. Be yourself. Date yourself. Marry yourself. Make time for yourself. Pamper yourself.

Preserve yourself.

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